FAILURE DOESN’T MEAN YOU’LL NEVER MAKE IT…IT DOES MEAN IT WILL TAKE A LITTLE LONGER – Unique

It’s not a succes story; because “Success is not final, Failure is not fatal.” Still you can say it’s a hard fought battle won by me. ‘Life’ Insurance Corporation of India became my ‘life’ line. You may think all these things which I have written here are rubbish, but I feel relieved while expressing my thoughts through writing. I will be very happy if you go through my story entirely. I want all my fellow aspirants to learn from my mistakes and take an experience. So my appeal to all of you is to kindly go through it even if it is long and forgive me if you find it boring. Well, I will take 10-15 minutes of your time only! You may be thinking that I am MAD! You might be thinking I am writing all these things as if I got IAS! (I aspire to become an IAS also one day, this is just the beginning!) But for me, it is more than that, quite a relieved moment! You will get to know as you proceed.

Just two days before my birthday (9th September), I got a “SPECIAL GIFT”; I can say a “SURPRISE GIFT” on 7th September 2016 in the form of LIC AAO. The PROUDEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE arrived when my NAME was in the FINAL SELECTION LIST of LIC AAO 2016. That 17-page PDF changed my life. I am so habituated to sadness that I am unable to feel the success and be happy at this great moment.

The journey was emotional, yet exciting! Termination from Infosys & Infosys Nostalgia: After passing B.Tech in ECE, I joined Infosys (selected in written, interview) through the so-called campus placement by our college. But after only 3 months of training, I was terminated from Infosys, because I could not secure a mere 65% marks i.e. minimum (I secured 56%) in their training programme exams. I couldn’t write a JAVA program and DBMS Oracle Query! I was depressed and I went through depression for few more months. Then gradually with the passage of time I forgot that scar as well as sweet memories (Infosys’s world class training centre with world class facilities, delicious foods, and multiplex) and time healed me. And today I can say those past memories have been deleted from my mind automatically and permanently. I no longer have any relationship with the bitter truth (Termination).

There are two darkest days in my life till now. First; the day when I was thrown out of Infosys and
second; the day when I didn’t qualify IBPS PO-V Main Examination. Coming to the
first one, when Infosys fired me, I was plunged into darkness. Infosys gave me
only 2 days to vacate their campus that too upon my request. Then I immediately
called my father and he said it was very difficult to get air tickets in 2
days. Still he managed to book 2 flight tickets of Rs. 20,000 each for to and
fro journey. I cried the whole night of the termination day and the remaining
one day stay at Infosys. My friends who were there with me tried to make me
feel better by saying that, “Everything in life happens for a reason. Something
better than this, is waiting for you. You go out of here and enjoy.” But I
didn’t know what to do, which way to go, for which job to prepare for, so many
thoughts clustered my mind.  I was
completely shattered. I was nowhere. Some of my friends there had earlier
persuaded me to cheat in the training exam and get passed. But I am NOT a CHEATER,
whereas some of them cheated and passed the exams. The only difference between
them and me was that; they got their job confirmed by passing the exams by
cheating from each other’s computer screens and I lost my job because of no
cheating. After coming home my parents also told the same thing, they asked me,
“Why didn’t you cheat in exams? Your friends were giving you the opportunity to
cheat, but you were a fool. What did you want to prove; that you are the most
transparent image in the whole world? Why did you want to show off? If you cheated
at that moment, you could have been doing job in Infosys today like your
friends!” I wish my ears were not there to hear all these things!! I do not
have the power to CHANGE this type of LOW MENTALITY of such HIGHLY EDUCATED and
QUALIFIED PERSONS.

I have a REASON to
succeed i.e. “Unsupportive Parents” as stated in one of the success stories I read
recently.

Then the real story
began; I struggled with myself mentally. Those people, who once poured their
blessings on me for my getting into Infosys, started ‘cursing’ me. In the mean
time, I decided not to run after private sector jobs and showed interest in
banking sector. So to get start and guidance, I joined Mahendra’s coaching
classes and started my preparation for banking exams formally in December,
2014. My parents and other family members were simply disappointed at my
decision to go for banking sector. They had only one question; after spending 6
lakh rupees in studying Engineering, will you do job in bank where a normal
commerce or BSc. Graduate is there?? The million dollar question indeed!!!

Anyways, those verbal attacks on me by my
parents made me stronger and motivated me to work harder and excel in exam and
interview. I am thankful for them for this purpose. Often my eyes were filled
with TEARS by listening to their harsh words, but I didn’t pay heed to them.
Tears are good for eyes!! I was on the path of my preparation. I was on my way
and they were theirs. My father forced me to again apply for private software
companies like TCS, Infosys etc. but I didn’t listen to him. My mother used to
give examples of my two cousin brothers (elder to me) and say, “See, they are
earning huge amount of money in dollars in foreign countries; you are nothing
in front of them.” Most often, my mother was uttering the word ‘Infosys’ like
chanting a ‘Shloka’ of Bhagvad Gita! She used blame me and my inability to
perform at Infosys. She was stuck up at ‘Infosys’ as if it was the greatest
among all and highest paid job! She was repeating the sentence “You failed in
your previous job, you couldn’t do it, so you also cannot achieve anything more
in life” as if that was the ‘only’ job available on ‘earth’! She was refusing
to move further. Every sentence she uttered, she included the ‘Infosys drama’. My
parents were against me. I was fed up with all these, but didn’t give up. The
impact of termination from Infosys was so powerful that I developed an unusual
type of anxiety (a strange sensation in my eyes), according to my eye doctor.
With passage of time, it became normal.

My childhood friends;
Umakant and Rubi stood by me. They fully supported me and my decision. Umakant
referred me the wonderful website ‘ExamPundit’ and Rubi suggested AC….and
without AC’s 1-month online course named ‘Stratus: LIC AAO 2016’, I couldn’t have
scored more marks in LIC AAO written exam. And I myself discovered other
banking preparation websites (mentioned in strategy part) gradually.

I bought some
bestselling motivational & inspirational self help books such as:

I took help of the
above books and those books were my treasures, they were my friends and
everything and will be friends forever. That’s why I am alive today taking a
positive view towards ‘life’. The first five books I mentioned above are
amazing, the best and of must buy! Read at least one page from these books everyday
and you will definitely get inspiration. While studying and working, remember
those words, sentences and move ahead.

In order to forget the
Infosys incident(flashback), almost every day I kept listening to motivational
songs (of Hindi films) like; ‘Aashayein..’ sung by KK, ‘Tu na jane aas paas hai
khuda..’ sung by Rahat fateh Ali Khan, ‘Itni Shakti Hame Dena Daataa..’ etc…
Do the same. It surely helps to get your spirit up.

I was always the centre
of attraction and discussion. My parents fought with each other over my job.
Sometimes I thought World War-III was going to happen any time! They think I am
alive only to give them explanations of each and everything. They found out
every possible way to annoy me. But as I love remaining silent (by nature), I
tolerate everything without having spoken a word.

I don’t believe in the
words; ‘Destiny/Luck/Fortune’. I only believe in “work”. But my parents
want instant success without any hard work like 2-minute instant Maggi noodles!
Even I don’t believe in Astrology. But my parents are quick believers and
lovers of astrology; as they are protestors of ‘work’. So they have to believe
in Luck and those Gemstones prescribed by astrologers. So they forced me to
wear two costly gemstones and yes, I couldn’t escape it! I am still wearing
them forcefully against my interest!

The ‘GATE/PSU Coaching’
Drama:

After being terminated
from Infosys in Dec 2014, I can say, my head (brain) was separated from my
body. I was so mad about getting a ‘job’ that I unintentionally took some quick
and wrong decisions/steps. I was somewhat driven by my parents’ words. In
between attending bank coaching class, in February 2015, I took admission in a
well known GATE coaching Institute for PSU (BSNL, Nalco etc)/GATE coaching by
paying Rs. 10,000 in advance and then after paid the rest of the amount i.e.
Rs. 48,500. So total admission fees were Rs. 58,500. After attending
classes (6 pm-9 pm) for first few days, I realized that I have made a big
mistake! Those very high standard engineering subjects, questions/answers were
going over my head. I thought, I was walking on the wrong path and suddenly
changed my mind to discontinue going to the coaching centre. My friend Umakant
also made me aware of the current job scenario, how difficult it is to get a
job in core technical sector nowadays, on the other hand, rapid growth in
banking sector jobs. But what to do?? I had already paid such a huge amount of
money to the institute which cannot be refunded! I searched and found one
refund option i.e. replacement of another student. I enquired about this in
their office. The main co-ordinator said, “This process cannot be done, you
have to continue for the whole 1 year.” He gave me another option that I can
drop this year (2015) and attend classes from next year (2016). But I had
already made up my mind that I would fully and only focus on banking exams and
not waste my precious 1 year in this GATE/PSU coaching. So although he and
other staff refused to listen to me, I used to request them every day to refund
my money. I started spending sleepless nights and stressful days in this
tension. Somehow, I arranged a Civil Engg student who wanted to take coaching
there itself, we both agreed on this replacement proposal, but a few days
later, again that small ray of hope instantly turned into despair for me; as
she also changed her mind and denied to take admission and it meant I would
never get my money (of course my father’s money!) back. I could not force her
for my sake also. Then I went to their office and begged in front of them
for my own money! The co-ordinator at first told he would himself arrange
someone to replace me and assured me that he would refund money by deducting
Rs. 10000. 2 months passed. I still had faith in him. But at last he himself
called me over the phone and directly refused to return money. And the chapter
ended there itself. So in this way, I simply threw away Rs. 58,500 into the
dustbin. Then I have apologised to God for this unpardonable mistake. I guess
my parents have already forgiven me as they are saying nothing regarding that
incident. I had written an apology letter to God also. I think God also
pardoned me after 1 and half year in the form of bestowing upon me LIC AAO. I
got a lesson; I shall never repeat this type of mistake in life.

Everybody called me a
loser after returning from Infosys. On that day itself, I decided to prove and
show my worth to the world. Whenever my parents say something to me, I become
speechless and turn into a mute spectator. I don’t have any right to utter a
word from my mouth.

About IBPS PO-V Debacle:

The ‘dark’ future ended
there at Infosys and a whole new ‘Bright Future’ was awaiting me. Then I never
looked back again after getting started towards a bright future. On 16th
November, 2015 result of IBPS PO Main was declared. After seeing ‘Thank you for
appearing’ on screen, I became totally blank for a while. Everywhere darkness
was there. Then after 2 hours only, tears came into my eyes. I cried a lot and
could not sleep that night at all. My eyes were swollen. It’s very heartrending
to fail in the 2nd stage (Main Exam) after clearing the 1st
stage (preliminary exam). One time happiness in seeing results, then another
time negative result; unhappiness. That means no meaning in clearing the
preliminary exam! Wasn’t that Infosys termination tragedy enough for me that
God battered me with another tragedy?? I could not qualify IBPS PO Main. What
matters most is; I lost the CHALLENGE with my father which he gave me to clear
a bank exam in today’s cut-throat competition. Again I was shattered. He won, I
lost. My success story remained half-way. It could not be completed. Dreams
dashed, hopes dashed…Perhaps, it was my punishment by GOD for throwing away
Rs. 58,500 in PSU/GATE coaching, earlier that year. Yeah! That’s a
possibility…

But see, again 1 year
later, I WON the challenge given by my father! My WIN => his DEFEAT. I
think, it is the perfect ‘REVENGE’ of 3 things at a time; 1) Infosys, ) IBPS
(because of ibps po main failure) and 3) my parents. I took the revenge not by
getting IBPS PO 2016, but by getting even a better one; LIC AAO 2016. I didn’t
have to wait and go for IBPS PO-VI exam itself, though had applied for.

God’s delays are not
God’s denials.

Again 2015(ibps po failure) turned into a
disastrous year like 2014(Infosys termination).

I had already used each
and every resources for preparation starting from coaching institute to books
(EP recommended ones), online video tutorials, websites’ quizzes, PDFs, notes,..Still
nothing was working!

About IDBI Executive
controversy:

I had appeared in the
IDBI Executive (On contract basis) exam in May 2015. Thankfully, I cleared the
online written exam. I prepared thoroughly for the interview (as I wanted to
have an interview experience) and appeared in it. I was selected through second
waitlist which was released on 3rd January 2016. The medical test
was on 11th Jan. I was in a dilemma whether to join idbi bank or
not. The reasons were; 1) the job was contractual (not permanent), the future
seemed uncertain; 2) The bank is soon going to be privatised. Still, I went for
medical test (wasted 1 day). I consulted EP and other aspirants regarding this.

Afterwards, I thought a
lot and decided not to join as I was confident that, I have the capability to
be an Officer. If I can become an Officer by waiting for a few more days or
months with big opportunities coming; why to waste my career in idbi?? Also at
that time (idbi joining date) LIC AAO exam was coming closer. As written in
idbi offer letter posting was at Mumbai, I turned down the offer and brought my
focus back on lic aao.

As I didn’t join idbi,
my father warned me, “Mind it!! You are throwing a job which you have got. So
you are not going to get a job anymore in near future. It will surely cost you
heavily. You have to pay the price.” He also gave me an example in this regard.
I became SPEECHLESS as usual by listening to his discouraging words.

About not appearing in
Clerk/Assistant Exams:

Many people were
advising me to apply for SBI/IBPS CLERK Exam and get it (Also I know I can get
a clerk job easily). But tell me one thing genuinely, is ‘CLERK’ the ‘substitute’
for ‘PO’? Clerk is not the SUBSTITUTE for PO! But for me, as of now,
LIC AAO is the true ‘SUBSTITUTE’ for IBPS PO.

I wanted to be an
officer only, not a clerk. So I decided not to apply for clerk/assistant exams,
though I appeared in a few assistant exams in 2015 for practice purpose. My
father at times insisted me to apply for clerk also and said, “You can get
promotion and be an officer after working for a few years as a clerk. I never
listened to him! My uncle (who is in SBI as Branch Manager) also told me that
if I could not manage to get an officer job directly I should appear for
clerical exams. He told that he had also joined SBI as a clerk long back and
today he is Branch Manager.

Despite all these advice, I was not biased by
anyone and kept myself stronger enough to get only the OFFICER Job and, today I
proved it also (Assistant Administrative Officer in LIC)! I wanted to become
officer means officer, nothing less than that. No one could stop me from
becoming an Officer.

Setting your Target:

You might have heard the
proverb “Jack of all trades master of none”.

If you are really
interested in banking sector, then AIM for Bank Exams only and the same applies
for SSC also. If you are aiming IBPS PO or SBI PO then don’t think of preparing
for SSC-CGL (My motto). I have seen many aspirants preparing for Banking and
SSC simultaneously (I wonder, don’t know whether they get success or not, maybe
they get but very rare cases). The fact is that the syllabus of bank exams and
ssc exams is completely different although some chapters overlap, for this
reason; you cannot focus well on one thing at a time. Even if studying for bank
exams require less hours (6-8 hrs) in a day, stick to it. Whereas along with
bank exams you can appear in various insurance exams like LIC AAO, NICL/NIACL/OICL/UIICL
AO/Assistant etc.. Because both banking and insurance (both come under
financial services sector) exams have the same syllabus and almost same pattern.

Preparing for
bank/insurance exams do not require you to study for long hours, give much
effort, only 5-6 hours after you attain a certain level, will do.

Target only one thing
at a time. You are not going to do JOB at all places whichever you get. If you
are getting failure in one or several attempts mean your success also lies
there (maybe delayed).

As I have read in one of
the books, there is nothing called ‘failure’. It’s not ‘failure’; it’s called
‘Temporary Defeat’. It is necessary. It again reminds you that a few more mistakes/things
need to be corrected/rectified.  Suppose
say, I fail in ibps po, that doesn’t mean I will now change my mind and stop
appearing in po exams further and switch to another exam e.g. ssc and the
vice-versa is also true.

My view on ‘Criticism’:

Criticism helps a human
being to grow and advance in life. Yes, I was hurt with the statements given to
me by my parents. But their criticism helped me stay motivated and work even
harder. I am very thankful to them for this.
For getting success you must have some critics who always criticise you
and your work very badly.

The ‘Waiting’ period:

The 4-month (May
’16-Aug ’16) long wait finally ended on a positive note for me. This time, it
came with final selection! During these 4 months, I worked even harder than I
had done for LIC AAO 2016. After appearing in LIC AAO interview on 30th
April ’16, I was anxious and worried about my interview performance and hence
final selection but tried to get out of it and prepared hard for next-to-appear
two important exams i.e. UIICL AO(Generalist) and SBI PO 2016 (Though didn’t
get any one of them!). I was carrying on my preparation in full swing for all
upcoming exams including IBPS PO 2016, without thinking about and depending on
the final results of LIC AAO 2016 and UIICL AO 2016.

Hadn’t I been come out
of Infosys, I wouldn’t have landed in a Government sector job today! So I am
very much thankful to Infosys for this (I don’t have their email id otherwise
would have definitely sent a ‘Thank you’ Note to Infosys!). Hadn’t I tasted the
failure in IBPS PO 2015, I wouldn’t have been able to find out my weaknesses
(Reasoning) and succeed in the next big exam (after ibps po ’15) i.e. LIC AAO
2016!

Believe me; God has
already set up everything for you. All you have to do is to follow HIS Path.

àHere are some
excerpts from the book ‘You can win’:

REMEMBERà

Exams I Appeared in
2015
:-

Initially, I was just
applying for exams randomly without setting a target. So the failures were
inevitable. Among them, first 10 were without much and consistent preparation,
as at that time I had not come across all the online resources (websites like EP).
However, in most of these exams, my scores were closer to the cut offs like in
SBI PO and RBI Assistant.